Eren's Redemption
by darknight17
Summary: Eren is really depressed, and so is Levi after the death of the Special Operations Squad. Will they, as a team be able to overcome that, plus the upcoming doom and danger awaiting to hit them? Or will they fall into a pit of despair and be unable to climb out?
1. Chapter 1

I sat down across from Levi… The days had been very lonely since the passing of the Special Operations Squad… To be honest, I even miss Oluo's stupid remarks about how cool he is and his desperate attempts to gain the attention of Petra. Levi doesn't say much, well, neither do I, but still. And the rare times he does say something, its nothing of importance.

"Levi… Are you okay? I'm really worried, I mean… I know that its not really my right to be, but I am. You're supposed to be my Heichou, I'm still here…"

Levi just looks at me, and shakes his head as if he is fine, but continues to stare off into space. So I stand up and walk out of the room, him not caring even though he is supposed to. I wish Hanji and Erwin would just show up, they said they would be here, but got held up.

As I found my way outside I started thinking, obviously about the squad, I mean, how could I not? They were Levi's family I guess, and now that it's just me, there is no reason to be happy or even say much. To him, I'm probably just a burden…

I don't understand Levi, one minute it seems that he cares what I think, and then the other what I say is bull crap and doesn't matter. I guess Levi kind of wants me to respect him, which is normal, but doesn't really care. I wish he would though; it's so lonely, without the others here…

To be honest all I really want is to see Armin. Armin is my rock. He is my best friend, my hero, my comfort, and my home. He's been there for me longer than anyone else, since we were extremely little we were friends. I was always his protector, and he gave me a reason to continue life in the walls.

When I was young, I had actually made up this great huge plan to sneak outside of the walls. I was going to sneak out during one of the survey corps missions, and then go on my own and just, well, live. I was never one for being caged in (And I am entirely to envious of the fact that the titans were caged out).

As I walked into the stable my train of thought stopped when Claude whined, being neglected much attention, actually, Levi's horse was even whining, maybe she was sensing her riders pain. I pet and give Levi's horse more food. After that she stopped whining a little, pushing into me actually, open for all the love and comfort I could give her. I pulled back and let her eat, even though as soon as I stopped touching her, she got sad again. I looked at her with a forlorn look, expressing to her my sadness, to show her I was upset too. In response she looked away.

I walked over to Claude, him obviously worried, and he leaned over and launched himself so his cheek rubbed against mine. I brought my hand up, and rested it against his neck and allowed my horse to comfort me. Tears started to pour down my face, everything that I've been bottling up for so long, came pouring out in the waves of wails and tears.

Reaching over, I unlocked Claude's gate and he rushed out to surround me. My knees gave out, unable to stabilize myself any longer, and I fell into Claude's stomach as he lay down, and allowed me to lie partly on him. Claude had become attached to me quickly, and has figured out when I'm upset, even though on the outside I may not appear so.

My tears slowly dried out, leaving salty trails down my face. I started to feel numb, realizing that I probably forced it so that I live my entire life in pain. All my friends decided to follow me, so they might all die, just like Levi's squad. They might already be dead for all I know, so I'm here thinking 'What's the point?' If everyone is just going to die, why must I live with this pain? I went for being human, to either humanities hope (Having the biggest weight ever on my shoulders) or A titan (Humanities favorite MONSTER). I don't know why they think I'm so great; I'm just a sad teenager, that can't even keep his friends alive.

Eren keeps trying to fix me, and I don't know why I haven't responded. The boy is obviously hurting, hurting and I'm sitting here hurting to. What I should be attempting to do is heal both of our hearts, but for some reason, I feel as if, that if I go to do that, that something will sprout from that, that I may fall in love with the poor boy.

Now, that wouldn't be such a problem, if he weren't a fucking titan. I mean, don't get me wrong, his titan body is even hot, but if something like that happens, I'm scared that the king may just steal him from me, thinking that I couldn't kill him. But there is one problem with that logic… I don't even think I could kill him at this point. To me, mentally, Eren is fully human. Eren has never shown much malice to humans, unless they were stupid, which (in my opinion) is perfectly reasonable. Thought the last thing that humanity or at this point, even me needs at this point, is Eren to be executed and dissected. And yeah, I know that this doesn't justify the pain I'm putting him and I through, but that's my reasoning.

Then I heard the wails… The sounds of Eren's sadness and stress finally showing, and oh my they were depressing. As his wails lost their fire, lightening up due to him probably losing his voice, I stood up to go find the poor forlorn boy.

When I found him (in the stables of all places), his tears had stopped, and he was asleep. His horse was curled up around Eren's now small, fragile figure. My horse, Snow, was leaning over her stable door, moaning a little, as she tried her best to get to Eren. (That dumb boy being so nice to them and giving them so much attention that they have literality became attached to him. Like, I bet that the horses of the deceased members of my squad, which are outside the walls, are looking for Eren.) Though she was very sadly failing at her goal considering she was locked in her stable. She turned and growled at me to let her out of the stable cell. I walked forward; reluctant to let her out, being that she has ran off before. But the moment I let her out, she went and curled around the other side of Eren, the one that wasn't blocked of by Claude.

"Wow… Of course you ignore me for him, Typical Snow." As I said that she basically growled at me, probably mad that Eren's sadness was my fault. I kneeled down by Claude and petted around Eren's head, trying not to wake him up. As I was doing so, Snow, whined and ran her chin over my hand and into Eren's hair. I felt bad, knowing that all of this pain that he is in, is more than half my fault.

I gently kneaded my fingers through Eren's hair, allowing myself to indulge in my soft spot for Eren. See, for some reason, Eren has intrigued me, since I laid eyes on him; he always had determination in his eyes, and a will power that seemed to never ending.

But that's not the only thing I like about Eren, I love his hair, his eyes, his smile, his angry face, and just everything about him. He definitely has some things that he needs to work on, but all of his faults help make him the beautiful human that he is.

And then I realized… that whatever he always gets nervous about, when Hanji asks how he might have came about his titan powers, tainted his humanity. It forced him to be feared, to shy away from crowds because he can see the fear in their eyes. I realize now that my squad may have been the only ones to accept him for his human and titan self. They worked with him, and soon became to trust him.

I feel bad at this point, I've be so insensitive to what he may be feeling, his pain, its all so relevant yet he probably thinks it isn't. I will make it up to him, I will make the years he has the best that he can imagine, and I swear, he won't die a virgin ;).

* * *

(5 years later)

"Eren! Come help me! Snow is in labor!" I shouted as loud as possible looking at Snow, as she works to push out her young. We had found out the she was pregnant when we had seen her belly a month ago… we actually hadn't notice anytime before, and its not like there was a book on horse pregnancy that we could get our hands on. Eren had been so proud of Claude when he found out that he had impregnated Snow. He looked like a super proud father, because I guess, in a way, Eren is kind of a father to them. Eren spends half of his time with them, and the other half with me. In the beginning, when we first started out, it was really hard for us to ease into the whole mushy love stuff. But, when the new squad came in, (which composed of Jean, Armin, Connie, and Sasha (Author's note: I know your probably thinking 'Where's Mikasa?' I'll explain that later.)) Everything was easier, lighter, and Eren's mood increased tenfold, which is great considering the broken state he had been in. We have had minimal problems with anything for now, considering the whole of humanity is kind of taking a break, considering we got the female titan (1 down, 2 to go). The only problem we had was with other humans.

Then, finally, Eren came running screaming out in joy, with the others not too far behind, interrupting my train of thought. "Oh my! I have been waiting for this moment, we get to find out the gender, name them! Levi I'm literately shaking, holy fuck!" At this I laughed, "Your such a child Eren." He came closer and leaned into my side, sighing at the fact of relief from this baby finally being born, and the fact that right now, he could just be happy. I put my arm around his shoulders, relishing in this moment of joy. Little did I know, that soon enough, what little is left of Eren's happiness, will soon be ripped away. And I could lose him forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Fern was the ponies name, Eren named her Fern. She was like her mom, black, except instead of white hair, it was grey. And by grey, I don't mean old people grey, I mean a striking silver-like grey. The young Fern had already taken a liking to Eren, being small enough, Fern follows Eren everywhere, without any ties or anything. Fern loves it here, despite my many requests for this to stop, Eren lets her follow him into the castle. Where he feeds her apples and plays with her as if she were human.

And as for me, Fern wants me to love her the same way Eren does, but I'm stubborn and not nearly as lenient as Eren. She probably looks at me like that one strict parent nobody likes. But, when she is in the living room, on the floor of course (with Eren) she will lay her head on my lab and I'll give in and pet her just a little.

Finally there is Eren, he has been making so many improvements, and he never seems to lose his smile now. Though, I have found out more of his past, well… kind of. See, he thinks he is sly when he changes, but I see the scars all over his body, I'm guessing they are pre-titan and won't go away. But they are so bad, and I'm 110% sure that they weren't self inflicted. So I just have to find out who did this to him. But, for now, he doesn't seem bothered by them, so why poke at something that doesn't need fixing at the moment.

Looking at the stars is something Eren and I have taken a liking to doing (Sometimes Fern will jump in and Eren and I will, not actually do anything couples do, those are the main moments where I swear I hate Fern. With a Hellish Fiery Passionate burn in my chest). Eren has this whole philosophy that it's the closest we'll get to how people lived before the Titans came and pillaged their peace (I have, absolutely no clue as to what this is supposed to imply, but I go along with it). So as we looked and made pictures in the stars, he thinks about how many other people, have drawn or seen, the same image. Eren has this obsession with pre-Titan things, things that us now, aren't even sure what they did. He seems to know a little about, though I wouldn't even think of asking anyone to check his theories, considering how he probably found this out. He also seems to think about this thing called an ocean, which is supposed to be a huge body of WATER, filled to the brim with SALT, which all on its own has to be a myth, I mean, that is just too good to be true. And he talks about music, and how music was something so treasured in the past, and he talked about how people would sing lyrics to the sounds and show a multitude of meanings weaving through the notes and to the hearts of the listeners. I begged him to show me, to show me how lyrics make the song so important, but he just looked away and said, "There are not any songs that you would enjoy that I know with lyrics, most of the are stored away, unable to be enjoyed."

I only wish I knew the things that bugged Eren when he wasn't smiling, those time seem to be getting more frequent. I'm really worried at this point, we have made great progress with learning about the Titans and fighting them closer and closer to extinction, we couldn't afford for him to bail on us now. So I decided today was the day I get him to spill.

"Hey Eren! Can you come here a sec? I wanna talk to you." I beckoned him over from the hall at dinner, he came over straight away.

"Yes, Captain, what is it that you need?" Eren responded, due to the way I called him over he probably thinks it's something related to me being his superior and all. I put my hand on his shoulder, my go to thing to show him it isn't like that, and he visibly relaxed, which kinda made me think he had done something wrong, but that's besides the point.

"Eren, What's wrong? And before you say anything, I'm not stupid, and I gave you your space but you don't seem to be getting any better. So now, I want to help. What is bothering you?" He looked down at the floor, he seemed to be conflicted on what to say, how to say it. But I didn't push him, it was most likely difficult for him to say.

"Levi… I think that maybe… I think that we should break up."

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"WHAT!?"

Eren looked away guilt and sorrow written plain on his face. "No… No… You can't do this to me. No, I won't let you… What happened? Eren really, why? Please, please be joking," his face show no signs of laughter, no signs of him lying or anything. I was fighting a losing battle. "Eren come on. What did I do? Tell me what I did, why won't you just SAY something. Eren… I can't lose you. I just can't! I knew it! The moment I let you in, you do this. Are you serious? Eren, Eren I fucking LOVE you. So much, and I don't want to break up. Please, please no."

He looked down tears flowing from his eyes, he put his hand on my shoulder, and then walked away. As I watched him walk away my mind chanted like a mantra, 'Chase him! Chase him! You're never going to get someone like him ever again! Go get him, kiss him, sweep him off his feet! He'd have to come back… Wouldn't he?'


End file.
